


Back to Hell

by iceprinceloki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Dean, Angry John, Angry Sam, Angst, Big Brother Dean, Caring John Winchester, Flagstaff, Gen, Hunter Dean, Hunters & Hunting, Hurt Sam Winchester, I promise, In a twisted way he really does care, Protective John, Runaway Sam, Soccer woes, Teenchesters, Worried Dean, Worried John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6240478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceprinceloki/pseuds/iceprinceloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on Sam's run to Flagstaff, just not for two weeks, and a bit of insight on the Winchester family struggles. Sammy wants to play soccer and John says the obvious, there's feels hurt and words said but there's good reason for all of it. Inspired by To Fight in the Shade by lovesrain44; the angst and Sammyfeels just inspired me I guess, the story is great so please check it out!</p><p>I really suck at summaries so please just give it a chance! Anyone will tell you my writing isn't too terrible....I need a beta sometimes sure...but the content is usually given good praise.... *pout face* I'm adorable, read my fic :3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to Hell

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Fight in the Shade](https://archiveofourown.org/works/267906) by [lovesrain44](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesrain44/pseuds/lovesrain44). 



Sam ran as fast as his legs would take him, not daring to look over his shoulder as many sets of heavy boots ran after him. His chest hurt, his lungs and muscles burned, he had been running for at least fifteen minutes at top speed. The ones following him were fit and had better stamina than his twelve year old body could dream of having; but he couldn’t stop, he couldn’t let them drag him back to hell. He would rather die.

He saw stars behind his eyes as he crashed into something huge, warm and hard. He drew back as an arm wrapped around him and a familiar hand grabbed him by the back of the neck; holding him against the body he’d collided with. Sam screamed with frustration, anger, fear and sadness, wondering how he’d even gotten himself into such a situation.

24 Hours Earlier.

“I told you not to try out Sam! I forbade it! You disobeyed a direct order Samuel!” John snarled.

“I’m sorry! It’s just that, I’m really good dad! If you’d just give me a chance to play you’d see how good I am! Please!” Sam begged.

John responded with a cutting remark. “Sam you have to stay low key and not get noticed, you’re being selfish and wasting your time on pointless, childish activities. It doesn’t matter how good you are, you are not playing soccer ever again!”

Sam had never been so hurt and he shouted at John. “I’m not selfish, I do everything you tell me to, and you still get mad at me! I’m good at something dad! I’ve never been good at something like this before, it’s important to me! I finally have something normal that I do good in, I won’t get teased for being a freak everywhere we go! I can belong somewhere dad, please don’t stop me!”

“I don’t care Sam, soccer is a waste of time that could be spent training and you need that time!” John growled in response.

“You just don’t want me to be good at anything that’s not hunting! You want me to suck at everything else just like you and Dean!” Sam shouted back.

Dean tensed in the passenger seat and gave Sam a hurt look. Sam instantly felt guilty, he hadn’t meant it like that but he couldn’t take it back. John glared at him in the rear view mirror.

“You need to train for the hunt Sam, I told you no soccer, you disobey me again and I will tan your hide! You aren’t a baby anymore, stop acting like it!”

Sam felt the hot tears building up behind his eyes, he choked a bit and swallowed hard as the warm wetness slid over his cheeks. “I’m not being a baby! I just want to be normal, why can’t you let me?”

“That’s enough Sam, I don’t want to hear another word. You are going to be a hunter, that means you train every free chance you get. If you say another word against it you will be sorry!” John snapped angrily.

Sam felt anger burn through his tears as he sobbed in the backseat. He whispered hatefully, keeping eye contact with John in the mirror. “I hate you, I wish you had died and not mom!”

“Sam!” Dean looked at him in shock and anger.

“Leave him Dean, he’s just having a tantrum.” John said coolly, looking away from Sam.

Sam felt his tears falling faster and he couldn’t stop the sobs escaping his mouth. It wasn’t fair! His father hated him and knew he sucked at hunting, why should he do something he sucked at!?

They pulled up outside the church and Dean left the two alone in the impala.

“That’s enough Sam...” John said quietly when Sam still hadn’t stopped crying. “You’ve had your moment of self pity, it’s time to pull yourself together and focus on the hunt.”

Sam glared at him sadly as John turned to look at him directly. “I don’t want to do this. I want to be normal.”

John nodded calmly. “I know, you tell me daily. This is the family business Sam, you are going to suck it up and do what you’re told. Dean never complains about hunting, neither should you. Now stop crying, pull yourself together and let's get busy.”

Sam shook his head and pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around them and hiding his face in his knees, trying to block John out. He kept crying, not able to stop now that he’d finally opened the flood gate. The driver's door opened and slammed shut and Sam thought he’d been abandoned but then his door opened and John was pulling him out of the car by his arm.

John handed him a tissue and pulled him away from the impala to the group of hunters waiting by the church.

“Sam you stick with Joshua, you’re responsible for salting the bodies.” John fixed his youngest with a piercing glare. “I don’t wanna hear that you gave him lip on anything, got me?”

Sam nodded dejectedly and glowered at the floor, he wasn’t talking to John. The man had fought with him not even an hour ago and made him the most miserable teen on the planet. All he’d done was make the soccer team, but was his dad proud of him? No! Of course not because once again Sam was being selfish and causing trouble.

The fight they had in the car when John picked him up from school had been explosive, and left Sam in tears that made John more angry. Sam was not going to talk to John any time soon.

Now Sam trailed after Joshua as the man set to digging up bodies like the other hunters. Bobby, Joshua, Caleb, John , Pastor Jim, Dean and Ellen were all together on this salt and burn, because it was an entire cemetery that needed burning. Sam was supposed to be salting the bodies as they were dug up, being only twelve he wasn’t able to dig for long and they needed to conserve energy.

He scowled as Joshua tried to get him talking.

“Come on kiddo, you’ve been sobbing your eyes out, what happened to you?” Joshua tried again.

Sam shrugged and didn’t answer. He didn’t have to because John saw the exchange.

“Sam doesn’t think hunting is a worthwhile endeavour.” He grunted as he climbed out of the grave and grabbed the salt from Sam.

Sam glowered at John’s boots as the man salted and burned the body.

“What?” Joshua blinked in confusion. “Hunting is epic Sammy! You just haven’t seen the fun hunts yet! Wait till you make your first kill.”

Sam favoured the man with a sour look and Joshua turned to John. “You know there’s a werewolf case two states over from here, be perfect for him; it’s an older wolf, not much of a challenge.”

John looked over at Sam and nodded. “We’ll talk about it later, for now we have a hunt to work on.”

Sam felt his gut clench, John was serious, he was going to discuss doing a hunt so that Sam could kill someone. His heart pounded in his chest and he stared at John.

“I don’t wanna kill anyone!” he blurted out in shock before he could stop himself.

John turned to him and gave him a steady look. “You’re a hunter, you’ll have to learn sooner or later.”

Sam bit his lip and took the salt back, watching John start on the next body. He knew John wasn’t going to listen to him; his feelings didn’t matter. If John wanted him to kill someone then he was going to have to do it. He didn’t want to though! Sam fretted anxiously, pressing a hand into his stomach to quell the twisting of his guts. He was doomed to be a murderer so long as he was stuck with his father, he knew it, and he was hurting at the knowledge.

John hadn’t even tried to hear Sam out, he just saw a selfish little baby who didn’t want to do what he was told. Sam would forgo doing anything normal ever if it meant he didn’t have to kill someone, he’d even do everything else his dad told him to do.

Sam suddenly realised what he had to do. Most of the graves had been done; just eight left and Sam was sure that the older hunters would manage without him. The spirits of those graves were nasty and provided enough distraction for him to hightail it without being noticed.

Sam ran as fast as he could while his father and the other hunters were distracted by the group of vengeful spirits. He rushed to hide in a tree top where he wouldn’t be seen and he quickly made sure to fall still. It wouldn’t be long before they noticed his absence. He would have to wait until they moved on from the area before he moved. He could see them from his vantage point but he knew they wouldn’t see him and that was just fine.

They did manage to get all the graves, but the look on John’s face when he saw that they hadn’t been salted yet, made Sam rethink his plan. He pulled in on himself and waited. John began barking at the other hunters furiously.

“Where is Sam?!” He roared at Joshua, the hunter Sam had been tagged with.

Joshua stumbled back and fell on his ass. “I’m sorry John, he was just here! Maybe he went off for a nature call?”

“Sam wouldn’t leave mid hunt.” Dean argued with Joshua. “He knows how important it is to do his job.”

“Let’s all calm down, salt and burn these bastards, then we can go look for Sam. He can’t have got far John, he’s just a kid.” Bobby interrupted them.

John grumbled unhappily and took the salt, he covered the bodies and the others began burning them. Once the corpses were burned John turned to Joshua.

“You get to stay here and fill the graves again.” He growled at the other hunter. “You better hope Sam isn’t hurt.”

“I know Sam, dad, he won’t be far.” Dean said confidently. “He would probably go somewhere nearby and wait for us to leave. Then he would go the opposite direction.”

Sam cursed in his head, Dean knew him too well; his entire plan was ruined. Worse was that he was stuck very nearby and had no way to get away if they were going to wait him out.

“Well then I guess we better start looking. Dean and Ellen look around in the church.” Bobby started instructing. “Pastor Jim, Caleb, you go to the local diners and motels; see if anyone saw him. John you and I can look around the forest over there, he may be hiding in the brush.”

They all nodded and went straight to the search, leaving Joshua to fill the graves. John and Bobby were headed straight for him and Sam held his breath as he watched them. Hopefully they wouldn’t think to look up.

Suddenly it struck him; if he pulled his legs straight out behind him and made his arms straight in front, the branch he was on was thick enough that they wouldn’t see him. He bit his lip and tried to quietly rearrange his limbs as the older hunters came under the tree.

“Any chance you know why Sam would up and leave like that John?” Bobby asked lightly.

John scoffed angrily in response. “I’m at my wit’s end with him Bobby! We argued before the hunt about damn soccer again. All he wants to do is play damn soccer, he doesn’t care about hunting and saving lives.”

“You think he’d run off over an argument like that?” Bobby asked in confusion. “Seems a bit trivial. There nothing else that could be it?”

“No Sam’s just selfish, he would run away over something this trivial.” John grunted as he kicked at a bush.

That wasn’t it at all though. Sam wasn’t being selfish really. He glared at John in offense and mentally murdered his father.

‘I’m not selfish! I want a normal life! If you ever listened to a word I said you would know why I ran away! I can’t be like you!’

“Well whatever the reason, I’m sure we’ll get it out of him when he turns up.” Bobby said slowly. 

They gazed around for a while and checked all the obvious hiding places. John was deep in thought, Sam could tell by the way he frowned.

‘Stupid kid!’ John thought furiously. ‘He knows better than to run off in pitch darkness! Over a damn soccer team and normal! Dammit Sam you know better!’

Sam was just being childish in John’s mind, he hadn’t thought much of the trepidation he had seen on his sons face when they discussed the werewolf hunt. He figured Sam was just being stubborn, afraid that killing the mutt would make him even less normal.

They searched for an hour before calling it quits and returning to the rest. The graves were all filled and Joshua was talking to the others about Sam.

“He seemed kinda messed up though, your daddy and I was gonna talk about taking him for a big hunt so he could get a proper experience. Thought it’d cheer him up to be involved in a real hunt you know?”

Dean stared at Joshua and then looked at John. “You want Sam on a big hunt? What does that mean?”

“Werewolf two states over, old thing needs to be put down, figure it’s an easy kill for Sam.” John grunted.

Dean nodded slowly. “You think Sam ran away cause of that?”

That gave John pause. Sam hadn’t seemed thrilled but John doubted it was anything more than childish disobedience that made Sam run. “Nah, he just wants to get his ass smacked raw. Sam doesn’t care about any hunts we do.”

“Well it’s safe to say he is long gone by now, obviously he didn’t stick around.” Ellen said grimly to them. “Where do we start looking?”

“Did you check our motel?” Asked Dean. “If he’s running he’d get his stuff and some supplies.”

“He wasn’t there and all his stuff there too.” Caleb droned tiredly.

“By now Sam could be in the next state, probably took a damn bus.” John huffed. “I’m gonna kill that kid!”

“We’re all good trackers John, we’ll help you out. He would have used your credit card or a fake ID, I’m sure we can track him.” Pastor Jim said soothingly. “When we find him we can sort this mess out.”

“Come on dad, let's get on the road and start looking.” Dean said, looking worried.

“We’ll start tracking him.” Bobby told the Winchesters as they all made their way away from the graveyard.

When Sam was sure they’d all left he climbed down from the tree and began walking through the forest, it ran down the length of the main road, and he kept to the shadows incase someone drove passed. He couldn’t take a bus, or go to the motel, or the next state until he knew what they were doing. He settled for sneaking to the motel and hiding across the street, he would listen in to find out where they would go. He crept around town, almost being seen twice by Dean and John, and settled inside an alley across from their motel. Dean and John drove up not long after and went inside to pack their gear. John came out just as Bobby pulled up outside the alley where Sam was hiding. He approached Bobby and nodded in greeting.

“You trace him yet?”

“No he’s not using a card or ID, must be hitch hiking or he’s still hanging around town somewhere.” Bobby grunted tiredly. “Listen I know it’s not my business, but Sam was a wreck earlier and I know you said it was a fight, but it seems to me that there’s more to this one. No kid runs away just cause his dad bans him from playing soccer.”

John leaned against the car and sighed. “Yea, well it was a bad fight I guess….we both said some stuff we shouldn’t have and I think it really hit him hard. I made it clear to him that he will hunt and there is no out, I guess it scared him off and now he’s trying to show me that there is a way out.”

“Oh, I guess that’d do it.” Bobby muttered.

“Why does he fight this so hard Bobby? Why does he have to argue at every turn? I just want him to be safe and if he isn’t trained to hunt he won’t be safe. He said he hates me Bobby, he wishes I was dead in Mary’s place.”John spoke slowly and he was clearly frustrated.

‘I didn’t mean it dad….I was just angry at you.’ Sam thought desperately. ‘I do love you and Dean but nothing I ever do is good enough and I can’t do this! Everyone, at every school I go to, teases me and calls me freak because I move around so much; and I don’t know what to say when asked what my dad does for a living. I want to be normal and safe and I want you and Dean to be home with me! I don’t want to hurt people!’

“That’s how you know you did your job John, your kids shouldn’t like you; you ain’t his friend, you’re his daddy. Whether Sam likes it or not he has to do what you say and you have to lay down the law. That don’t mean ruin his life, it means work things out with him; don’t bargain but give him a drop of freedom.” Bobby told John calmly. “Sam needs a father John. You been holding so tight to him but you never actually hold him how he needs. The boy needs you to be there to catch him, he can’t live when you won’t let him climb onto a high point in the first place.”

“You think I should let him play soccer?” John asked lowly.

“No, you already told him no, if you go back on that he will push you on everything. Just find something else he likes and let him do it.” Bobby answered wisely. “He’s still a kid John.”

“I know he is, I’m worried about him….” John confessed softly. “He’s so angry all the time, and sad too, I know he gets picked on at school but that's no reason to lash out on us. He needs to handle those bullies on his own and grow up a bit or he needs to deal with it and leave the anger and sadness at school. Am I a bad father?”

“No John, you’re strict and harsh but you have to be. You know what’s out there and you know what’s good for the boys. I’m sure Sam loves you and he wants to come back home by now.”

“He better come back soon, when he does I have a hiding waiting for him.” John said firmly.

Sam grimaced and curled into himself, now he really didn’t want to be found. He didn’t get hidings often but when he did they were brutal and he rarely managed to sit the day after.

“Wait….high point?” John looked at Bobby in surprise. “Did you look in the trees when we were in that forest?”

“No?” Bobby said looking confused.

“Let’s go, I think he was hiding in a damn tree!” John climbed into the impala and Bobby followed suit, leaving Dean behind to wait for Sam.

Sam sat quietly in the alley and thought over what he heard. He felt bad for running and worrying John, he felt bad about their fight. He wanted to go to where Dean sat on the curb outside the motel and hug him. He wanted this to be over, he was tired, hungry and cold. He didn’t want John to get a hold of him though.

He looked over to where Dean sat and sighed. Dean stood up suddenly and Sam shrank back. He peered out to see Dean shrugging his jacket off and getting a soda and chocolate from the vending machine. Sam frowned curiously and waited to see what Dean would do. Dean took the soda and chocolate and wrapped them in the jacket. He placed the bundle on the doorstep and went inside, the lights turned off a moment later and Sam guessed the older boy was asleep.

Sam eyed the bundle and he felt himself drool a bit, he hadn’t eaten since lunch and it was now close to two in the morning. He wanted to go and get the bundle Dean had seemingly left for him but he didn’t want to be caught. Slowly he inched out of the alley, looked around and ran across the road the door. He grabbed the bundle and hightailed to the alley again.

He sat panting in his spot as Dean opened the door and stepped out. Dean smiled when he saw that the bundle was gone and he looked around.

“Watch yourself Sammy. I’ll try to cool the storm but you gotta come back you hear? I’ll leave you be tonight, but tomorrow I want you home got it? If you’re not back by dinner I’m letting dad smack your ass red.” Dean announced calmly to the darkness.

Sam blushed and nodded, despite knowing Dean couldn’t see him. He felt it only right that Dean knew he understood. He picked up an empty soda can from the trash beside him and rolled it out onto the curb. Dean smiled when he saw it and nodded.

“Stay safe Sammy. I’ll talk to dad. Sweet dreams kiddo.”

The impala rounded the corner and Dean turned to look as John and Bobby approached him.

“What are you still doing out here?” John growled.

“Did you find Sam?” Dean asked calmly.

“Followed tracks to the main road, he left a mud trail after him but it goes as far as a block from here and then stops, he ran out of mud.” Bobby responded when John shrugged tiredly.

“He’s probably nearby then.” Dean reasoned. “He’ll be back by dinner tomorrow.”

“You better be right. Your brother is grounded, banned from homework, tv, going outside alone, and going to school. The only thing he’s gonna do for the next two months is train for hunting with me, if I go somewhere he goes too! Plus there’s an ass whooping my belt is dying to give him.” John said gruffly as he stomped past Dean into the motel with Bobby following.

Dean looked at the alley and shrugged. “He’ll sleep it off.”

Sam was frozen, he really didn’t like what John had planned. Maybe he would just keep running.

Sam put on Dean's jacket and put the last half of the chocolate in a pocket, he found thirty dollars in the other pocket, and he downed the soda. He carefully made his way to a bus station and bought a ticket into the first place he thought of; Flagstaff. It was a four hour drive away and he’d be there early the next morning, could set himself up and get safe before John even hit the road looking for him.

The next day Sam set himself up in an abandoned house in Flagstaff. He met a dog named Bones and shared his story and food with him. He was happy, he spent the morning playing with Bones in the house and the afternoon playing soccer with other kids in the park. By three o'clock that afternoon he was hungry and decided to venture out for food as there was no way John would track him to Flagstaff.

He went to a pizza parlour and had a pizza with Bones. The nice waitress even gave him a milkshake, chocolate for once, on the house. Sam was walking home when he saw it. The impala coming around the corner towards him. He ducked into an alley and waited for her to pass, but she didn’t and Sam frowned in confusion. He looked out to see the impala parked and empty on the side of the road.

Dean and John were nowhere to be seen. He backed up into the alley and hit into something hard. Turning his head he saw it was Pastor Jim, the hunter didn’t even need to say anything, Sam ran as fast as he could. Listening to Pastor Jim and Dean chasing after him shouting his name. He was going to run into another alley when he saw Caleb and Ellen hiding in wait to catch him.

He ran into traffic across the street and dove through another alley. Joshua grabbed him this time and Sam slammed the back of his head into the hunter's face. Joshua released him and Sam ran on, tears slid down his cheeks. How had they found him? He hadn’t used any cards or ID! Now there were five hunters on his tail and his eyes were so full of tears that he couldn’t see straight.

Sam ran as fast as his legs would take him, not daring to look over his shoulder as many sets of heavy boots ran after him. His chest hurt, his lungs and muscles burned, he had been running for at least fifteen minutes at top speed. The ones following him were fit and had better stamina than his twelve year old body could dream of having; but he couldn’t stop, he couldn’t let them drag him back to hell. He would rather die.

He saw stars behind his eyes as he crashed into something huge, warm and hard. He drew back as an arm wrapped around him and a familiar hand grabbed him by the back of the neck; holding him against the body he’d collided with. Sam screamed with frustration, anger, fear and sadness, wondering how he’d even gotten himself into such a situation.

He kicked and hit at the man holding him and shouted at him. “I hate you! Why can’t you leave me alone!? I just want you to leave me alone!”

John didn’t release his hold and he tried to talk to Sam. “Sam, stop it! I am your father and you will listen to me!”

Sam was beyond caring what John had to say. He had finally been free, finally got to be a bit normal, now that was taken from him and he was going to be dragged back to hunting monsters and being a freak. Another man pulled Sam away from John and the big arms wrapped around him comfortingly.

“Calm down John, you’re scaring the kid.” Bobby growled at his friend.

Sam allowed himself to sag against Bobby and he held tight to the other man. Bobby stroked his back and hair lightly, allowed Sam to do what John would never allow; break down and let his feelings show. Sam felt like a baby but he needed this comfort, he hid his face in Bobby’s chest and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck.

Bobby rubbed his back and murmured soothingly to him, putting a hand under Sam’s backside to lift him up. Bobby carried him off with the others following.

Sam risked a look at John and found the hunter glaring at him. He felt his insides shrivel and he hid his face again. 

John was actually glaring at the back of Bobby’s head, he was pissed at the man for taking over his role as father. He was supposed to be the one carrying Sam to the impala, rubbing soothing circles on the boy’s back, making him stop his crying.

Bobby put Sam in the passenger seat of the impala and made him calm down. “You are gonna go with your daddy and get some sleep. This has been a long and stressful day.”

“Dean go with Bobby please.” John said gruffly as he kept his eyes locked on his youngest son.

He climbed into the car with Sam and drove off. They were silent and John found himself struggling to find words.

“Sammy, what possessed you to do this?” John asked finally. “We were on a hunt, someone could have gotten hurt.”

Sam shrugged tiredly.

“I need an answer Sam, I can’t fix things unless I know what’s going on.”

Sam sighed and nodded his understanding. “I don’t wanna hunt anymore…..I don’t wanna kill anyone.”

“You realise that by not hunting you let hundreds of people die each year?” John asked harshly. “You want people to die Samuel?”

“It’s different!” Sam argued. “I’m not the one pulling the trigger and killing them! I can’t!”

“I get that you don’t think you can do this, I have my doubts too, but you just need to practise, and you’ll see that you get better.”

Sam glared at him. “You aren’t listening to me! This isn’t about being insecure! This is about me not wanting to be a killer like you!”

John drew in a deep breath at that, his Sammy saw a killer, not a father. “Sam you aren’t a baby anymore, you have responsibilities. You know what’s out there, and you owe it to the rest of the world to do something about the monsters.”

“WHY!?” Sam exploded. “Why do I have to be the big hero!? Why can’t someone else do it?”

“You know why Sam! You damn well know why!” John shouted back. “You raise your voice at me again and so help me I will take my belt to your hind every night for the next two weeks understand me?”

Sam glowered silently and John hunched in on himself moodily.

“I hate you...” Sam said softly.

“I know Sam.” John murmured sadly.


End file.
